O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
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All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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