After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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