dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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