Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
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