listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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