I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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