Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have post one night stand depression
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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