I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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