Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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