She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
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nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
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You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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