i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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