I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
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you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
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So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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