hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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