Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(618): View more from Illinois

how was the sex?

(1-618): View more from Illinois

he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.

(618): View more from Illinois

well, there's that.

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(618): how was the sex? (1-618): he smelled like pickles and burnt hair. (618): well, there's that. http://tfl.nu/wrio

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(732): View more from New Jersey

you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

(1-732): View more from New Jersey

did i?

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(732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum

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(631): View more from New York

i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture

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(631): i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture http://tfl.nu/o7a7

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(518): View more from New York

I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth

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(518): I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth http://tfl.nu/kl4h

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(937): View more from Ohio

I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.

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(937): I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide. http://tfl.nu/dybq

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(498): View more from

You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.

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(498): You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow. http://tfl.nu/rks2

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(816): View more from Missouri

I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now

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(816): I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now http://tfl.nu/qqu5

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(647): View more from Ontario

I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines

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(647): I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines http://tfl.nu/pct1

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?

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(814): Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison? http://tfl.nu/qn7s

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(219): View more from Indiana

How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?

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(219): How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year? http://tfl.nu/u8i3

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(949): View more from California

Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.

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(949): Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities. http://tfl.nu/bc5t

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(501): View more from Arkansas

I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.

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(501): I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job. http://tfl.nu/8e8h

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

Let me tell you the story of bicurious george

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(508): Let me tell you the story of bicurious george http://tfl.nu/xwje

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(210): View more from Texas

Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.

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(210): Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course. http://tfl.nu/nbyi

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(914): View more from New York

So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED

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(914): So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED http://tfl.nu/nbqu

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