Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
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By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
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The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
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