We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize