is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize