why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize