And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
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