I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
pray to the hookup gods
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize