Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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