i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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