Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize