This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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