okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
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DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Vodka?
Forever.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
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He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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