Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize