I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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