If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
can u get pink eye on your cock?
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
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