so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize