Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize