I have demons in me.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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