Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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