I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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