my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
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Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
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