I wanna bring you to show and tell
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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