There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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