paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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