my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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