If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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