CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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