Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
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Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
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Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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