I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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