i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
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I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
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He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
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