it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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