i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize