I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
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