dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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