She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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