Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
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i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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