This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
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I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
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Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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